Tag Archives: Rebecca Martin

My Embracement of Women: The Universe Delivers

© 2014 Rebecca Martin
© 2014 Rebecca Martin

Continued from My Sexual Resurgence..

The beauty of womanhood is boundless. Beyond daily mundane activities such as laundry, where our thoughts digress to the wonderment as to how a garment placed in the dryer right side out consistently comes out inside out. Or the everlasting question where could the matching sock have gone? We have within us an innate ability to survive and nurture. Typically the survival nature is combative and predatory where to nurture is something done in meekness. To possess both qualities is something rare and wonderful.

I found myself in the presence of not only adoring men but also some very influential women. As one who rarely attempted, gained or retained any close ties with women, this was a refreshing and uplifting experience. Women who are like-minded and non judgmental towards me are very scarce. Females always come across to me as threatened to some degree. It may very well be my aura and the highly sexual vibe others claim I ooze. I have never completely figured out why some, and yet not all, women feel this way. I do tend to magnetize towards testosterone and make no attempt to conceal who I am, nor do I put on appearances and cater to weaker insecure personalities. Nevertheless, the women I found myself in company with were perfectly suited to my whimsical, and sometimes erratic personality. I cared not what they thought of me, I was simply being me, and no one could stand in my way.

“The beauty of womanhood is boundless.”

One of these women happened to be one of my mother’s friends. We were introduced  within weeks of her separation from her husband and subsequent filing for divorce. Coincidentally, this occurred in the same month I had filed for divorce. Both of our husbands were Fijian and we had both been with our husbands for 13 years, bearing beautiful children as our gifts. This friendship proved to be a strength to us both I believe. We saw eye to eye on most everything and were for the most part, inseparable. We would spend countless weekends together during our corresponding divorce proceedings, sharing our stories of long-suffering and final resolution. Hours filled with laughter, wine, vodka tonics, in the comfort of her abode or out on the town espousing characteristics of free women. Finding solace in the company of another, a lifeline was born.

“Nevertheless, the women I found myself in company with were perfectly suited to my whimsical, and sometimes erratic personality. I cared not what they thought of me, I was simply being me, and no one could stand in my way.”

This appeared in an unusual manner from what I had grown accustomed to, a woman of like mind rather than a man trying to gain a foot hold. It was refreshing and comforting to realize that I was capable of meeting and establishing long-lasting, meaningful relationships with my dreaded foe: the female species. According to my ex husband, any women friendly with me were lesbians, and all men were only wanting sex. This mentality astounded me and left me questioning all of my friendships at an attempt to gather proof and verification that he was wrong in his conclusion. Was it true that I had nothing to offer? Nothing to bring to the table as far as friendship went? Was I that dull and boring of a person that only my physical appearance could maintain any semblance of desirability? After all the years I had been married and told myself there was more to his determination to stay together, it all became painfully clear that he must be speaking from his own experience with me. If not, how could he be so sure in order to make such a stark statement? This realization cemented in my mind the execution of my break out and emancipation.

“It was refreshing and comforting to realize that I was capable of meeting and establishing long-lasting, meaningful relationships with my dreaded foe: the female species.”

Another such fated friendship came about in such perfect sequence that it had to have also been orchestrated. The Universe saw fit, and delivered. After having an unassisted home childbirth with my last child, I joined an online group on a one a popular social networking sites. It wasn’t long afterwards that I acquired a friend request from a young and attractive woman who was also a member of the group. I was fairly new to the whole idea of unassisted childbirth. Having only researched it for the months of my pregnancy, I was fascinated by the stories and experiences of other liberated women. I accepted the friend request, further sending a message of introduction and questions regarding her experience, and so forth. At the time, I was encountering trouble acquiring a birth certificate because of a bunch of red tape, and knowing of someone who had been through an unassisted childbirth yet managed to obtain the certificate for her child, was encouraging.

“Finding solace in the company of another, a lifeline was born.”

It wasn’t tense or uneasy meeting face to face for we both had a sense of destiny and excitement. Life had indeed delivered and our connection was instantaneous. Following this initial introductory meeting, we frequently got together either at my home or at some vibrant venue where we shared our lives and encouraged each other on our personal journeys. Our feelings of liberation were immense, opportunity limitless. Each time we connected our energy seemed to give off an electrical charge upon contact. Our vision was clearly outlined and expressed freely. Admiration and appreciation flowed and the outcome of our visits were always uplifted spirits.

“Our feelings of liberation were immense, opportunity limitless. Each time we connected our energy seemed to give off an electrical charge upon contact.”

At first glance you can’t always fathom the similarities you may have with another human being without further exploration. Once unearthed, these similarities can become the very stimulant necessary for your own personal development. By witnessing potential in another, you begin to search your own growth and direction and thus begin the blueprint for embarking on projects or personal improvement in whatever shapes or forms they may be. Epiphanies seemed to be imploding within our skulls. Ideas were playing themselves out in our very existence. Things out of our control and previous grasp and attention, due to our circumstantial life placement and lack of experience, were now permeating our existence. Now past and present occurrences displayed depth and reason, having their secrets previously locked away, we had caught a mere glimpse of greater workings.

Workings in our lives that couldn’t be explained as coincidence, chance or luck.

To Be Continued..

Copyright © 2014-2015 Niazmina

Forbidden Love: A Love Caught In Tradition

Images © 2014 Rebecca Martin
Images © 2015 Niazmina

Love caught in tradition…

Ease this burning incision
I would have muted this heart
Had I known it’s precision
Had I known our fate
Though that star caught fire
I would have swore it a liar
I would have silenced my wish

The arrow that shot me through
Came out of nowhere whilst before you
Had I known our future state
I would have blinded my stare
I would have blocked it for good
If I understood right there

Those who witness our turmoil marvel with little care
How these lovers bemoan
Unable to bear
I wake with you still on my breath
These endless thoughts of you will surely bring me to my death

Was it a past sin that brought Misery to grin
Was I in another life your secret wife
Do our souls acknowledge something
That to us remains hidden
This cruel punishment leaves us virtually bed ridden

Why did this heart lie
I trusted it was true
When I felt it’s first beat for you
Forbidden love thus hangs me alive
You alone are the hope in which I survive
Death can take me on the condition
It brings rescue from this torturous rendition

Love caught in tradition

© 2014-2015 Niazmina