I’ve heard all the confusion and assumption mainly coming from men, in regards to what women want in the bedroom. What I realized after hearing from various men, is that there are many similarities when it comes to what turns men and women on. Let’s get past the fact that men are highly visual, and understand that many women are as well. Men and women are more similar sexually then we may think. Firstly, I am going to start off slowly and then go with the flow. A little foreplay before the show. Things may get a little explicit but I’m sure all my readers can handle it and may even be anticipating it. When it comes to love making, let’s not be shy.
Ladies and gentlemen, I understand that not all things can be controlled in this world, but common courtesy demands that you put in at least the bare minimum of an effort into this practice. Good hygiene says a lot about a person, not to mention their desire and respect for their partner. Take a shower (preferably once a day), use some form of deodorant, there’s no excuses nowadays with all of the natural options available. Brush and floss your teeth, nobody wants to eat leftovers of your last meal courtesy of your teeth.
To shave or not to shave; that is the question. Well whatever your prefer in regards to shaving, waxing, laser hair removal; most will agree that at least trimming of the pubic area is a turn on. Afterall, not too many would be gung ho about performing oral sex on untamed tresses surrounding (and perhaps hiding) their partner’s genitals. Keeping no or barely there hair can also help regulate odor. Unless you’re having sex in a cave out in the cold, there’s no need for the pubic fur coat. Keep you’re ‘down there’ well groomed, whether it’s bald or not isn’t really an issue.
I don’t know of one person who doesn’t appreciate a good massage. There are many sensitive spots on both the male and female body which can stimulate sensuality and release pressure. This aspect of foreplay has a wide range of health benefits, including stress release, encourages relaxation, improves circulation (allowing blood flow to your sexual organs), relaxes muscles, increases flexibility and range in motion (perfect for your Kama Sutra position attempts). Massage is an engaging way to display affection for one another and allow for an open exchange of touch and love, creating an atmosphere of trust where each feels safe to explore, perhaps even venture into previously uncharted territory. Ask your partner if they would like a massage and forget about reciprocation for the time being, let it be about them.
‘Love play’ is a huge turn on in and out of the bedroom. Play fighting is afterall what boys grew up doing, why not invite your girl into your world? Chances are she will have had experience in this department, if not growing up then somewhere along the line, so don’t be afraid of giving her a shock and awe experience (which might not be a bad thing..). Ladies, if he’s not the instigator in a little playful, rough and rugged game, what’s stopping you? Bedroom games proceeding actual love making can lead to increased affection for one another and definitely get things a little more lively and wild. Men like to conquer and women love to be conquered, so take ’em down and build your empires, I say!
Cuddling can be great on it’s own without concern for things going further. Some of the most fulfilling moments between a couple can be experienced through simple cuddling. It’s intimacy at it’s core. Cuddling is known to promote the release of oxytocin, also known as the ‘love hormone’, a chemical that helps release stress and improves mood. It’s a wonderful way to express your love and affection, and may or may not lead to eventual love making, but who cares? Both men and women benefit from this closeness and it builds a bond of trust between two people. This affectionate act can transfer positive healing energy and has become such a popular practice that there are many cuddle services where you can receive professional cuddling.
Pleasure oriented foreplay
This is a definite must. If one party is in it merely for their own pleasure, there’s little to no point in continuing the session. Pleasure in the sac (pun…yeah, that’s intended) depends on the preview before the show. Get those juices flowing, yo! Guys, do you really want to throw yourself at a dry Slip n’ Slide? Girls, remember, it’s the squeaky wheel that get’s the grease! If your man is attempting a quickie and you’re sugar wall ain’t callin’, don’t be the silent one in an all out thrashing. As far as foreplay goes, I’ve found that many of the same things arouse both sexes:
Some may argue that kissing is number one. The fantastic thing about kissing is there’s little to no ground that can’t be covered. In this sense, a kiss isn’t just a kiss, but a tremendous sensual experience for both to enjoy. It brings a closeness that few other actions can compare. The art of kissing may take some practice for some, but it’s benefits will definitely pay off and pave the way to a whole new world of sexual gratification. Both men and women take pleasure in lip kissing, and why not throw in a little (or a lot) of tongue for the French Kiss. Neck kissing is a nipple-hardening-stimulating-all-of-one’s-senses kind of kiss to get you knockin’ the boots, or rather knock those boots right off. Speaking of nipples, yeah, those are always a pleasure point. X marks the spot, incorporate some light nibbling and pinching and your partner could be 99% on their way to full climax.
Yes, I said it and there’s really such thing. Does anybody disagree? Get both of your somatic sensory systems receiving stimulation and thus communicating with your brains the ultimate feeling of ecstasy. Get rubbin’ to increase the lovin’, take the ragging bull by the horns and get into it! Men, get your fingers into the mix and experience the female ‘waterfall’ as she ejaculates in intense pleasure. Not all females have squirted but their vagina may not be to blame, it takes practice and a certain ‘Je ne sais quoi’ from their male counterpart. The art of female ejaculation can lead to intense pleasure for both, when done correctly and with appropriate consideration. No female wants a man’s fist in her vagina and when done too roughly, can have the opposite effect and lead to vaginal dryness. Start with one and then two fingers and make sure those nails are trimmed and clean!
Not everyone is sexually verbal, but sex talk is something that can be a tremendous turn on, especially when done simultaneously with other actions such as mutual masturbation. Try telling your partner in descriptive and provocative tones, how you have imagined them during the day, and all the things you fantasized about. Don’t simply mention what you desire for them to do to you, but give them a naughty taste of exactly what you’d love to (and plan to) do to them. Nothing knocks the socks off a lover more than the sensual words of passion from one closest to them, seeking to conquer and devour them like the resurrection of Alexander The Great. This verbal seduction can rebuild an empire left in ruins.
Very well could be the best kind of ‘kissing’ for couples. What do you mean you don’t go down? It may not be something everybody desires, but can be a great intimate way to draw closeness between couples and spice up the relationship. Some find immense pleasure in the act of giving pleasure, oral sex being one method. Either done at the same time as ‘the 69’ or ‘le soixante-neuf’ or not, it’s extremely exciting for both sexes to have their lover kiss, lick and suck on their most special place, and men don’t forsake the glorious and very sensitive clitoris! It’s a fantastic way to arouse your partner, get a womans sexual juices flowing, and achieve orgasm even in those who otherwise find it difficult to achieve purely by intercourse. Many women find themselves having multiple orgasms and cumming during oral sex (‘cunnilingus’ performed on women) easier than penetration. Likewise, where a man is having difficulty achieving erection, during oral sex (‘fellatio’ performed on men) the sucking sensation can solve the issue. There have been studies done which found semen to contain anti depressant chemicals such as spermatozoa, cortisol, which is known to increase affection, estrone, and oxytocin which elevates mood, thyrotropin-releasing hormone (another antidepressant), melatonin (a sleep-inducing agent), and even serotonin (perhaps the best-known antidepressant neurotransmitter) according to MedIndia. Apart from the apparent health benefits of oral sex, don’t get overwhelmed by the thought of having an unfamiliar taste in your mouth, or for women, having a man cum in your mouth with the expectation of you swallowing. Communicate your limits and never do anything that you’re uncomfortable with.
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